Great news! The potential tenant who I interviewed yesterday called me just now to arrange a time to give me the application and the deposit (of course I'll run the application before depositing the check).
Not as great news - he also took the opportunity to try to ask me out. I say "try" because I sort of averted the question.
First he asked if he could meet me at the property Friday afternoon at 4pm in order to give me the deposit and application and fee. I agreed, and then he tried to derail the business conversation by rambling about how his day was going and asking me about mine. His tone was not flirtatious so much as overly friendly - as though I wanted to be talking to him about his day in the middle of mine. Then he asked what my plans are on Friday night.
I pretended to assume that he was asking out of polite deference to my schedule, since we had just scheduled a 4pm meeting that day. But his behavior the day before made me know otherwise. I told him in a normal conversational tone that my sister was coming into town and that I'd be planning something with her.
Before I could change the subject he responded in an invitational, questioning way that he and some guys at work were planning to head down to the horse racing track and that it should be a great time. I told him that sounded like fun and that I was glad he was getting to know the area. Refusing to drop it, he asked if I'd ever been to the racetrack. I said "no" and quickly shifted things back to business by telling him I'd be at the property at 1pm and asking if we could meet then instead.
He agreed readily with some annoying comment like "Sure, sure, whatever you want little lady." He didn't come accross as persistent or creepy. Instead he kept chuckling and spoke lazily as though he just enjoyed the whole exchange. He called me "little lady" again while saying goodbye. Ugh.
If he tries to ask me out again - or over for dinner - I'm going to flat out tell him that I have a policy against socializing with tenants. Of course I'll say it in a friendly "gosh, I wish I could, but you know I can't" sort of way.
But hey, if all it takes is a smile and letting him call me "little lady" to keep him paying promptly and being easy-going, I can handle it. I'd rather the guy like me than hate me - the last tenant who seemed to have a mild crush on me kept the place in great condition and always paid on time.
May 27, 2009
Tenant Tries to Ask Me Out
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10 comments:
Definitely handle this before it gets any further. His behavior is inappropriate and the longer you let it go, the harder it's going to put a stop to it down the road.
You can be nice and polite and have a big smile, but you need to make a point that not only do you not socialize with tenants, but this is the only time you're going to remind him of that. Because if you tell him and he ignores you, it's sexual harassment. If you feel like you have to flirt with him or allow him to make you uncomfortable or else he'll damage your place, that's harassment, too.
I know that you're trying to be nice and you want a nice tenant, but I have heard some horror stories of creepy landlord/tenant situations, and this is no different just because the young, pretty girl is the landlord. He's behaving inappropriately, and you need to stop it asap.
Dang, I would be interested in your vacancy, but then I couldn't date you.
Oh, and I already have my own place : )
Ahhh, what a sweet "How grandpa and I met' story you'll get to tell around the Thanksgiving table in 40 years ;)
Meg, Don't feel like you have to be nice and let him down easy, the best way to deal with someone like this is to be firm, to the point and polite. Don't say you wish you could, but...That will only give someone as delusional as he seems to be hope. If you don't want to date him and don't want him to ask you again then say exactly that.
Its very important to listen to your gut when dealing with guys like this. It sounds like you're trying to make yourself believe he is a nice guy but it also sounds like he is making you really uncomfortable. Listen to that feeling.
I had a similar thing happen too! I was living in my Dad's property and rented it to someone I have a bit of a crush on. I'm pretty much sure it's mutual because he was staring me down the whole time. I have a habit of not acting on stuff like this .... so I probably won't do anything, but I just thought it was funny that a similar thing happened to you too. I guess in my case, it would be ok to date him. He is my dad's tenent, not mine. I think if you genuinely like him .... it's ok to slide on the tenent/landlord stuff. ~A.
Well ...in your case ... you didn't mention any good qualities that you like about him, so you probably don't want to date him anyway. ~Amanda
Seems like your asking for trouble. By playing it off until you get the money, and then telling him you don't get personally involved with tenants.
Seems kinda weak to me.
@ Little Miss Moneybags - I hardly think his behavior so far is close to sexual harassment. A person I'm not interested in has indirectly expressed interest in me. I was polite but firm in not flirting or responding to his advances. If it continues I have a very easy out - I happen to be his landlord (not to mention I'd have no problem turning down anybody I didn't like regardless of that fact).
@ Katie - I would never actually SAY I wish I could; I was referring to the tone I'd use - which is also probably a stretch. I'm certainly not in any way going to lead on some tenant who is twice my age!
@ Dean - There is no way he has any indication that I might be interested. I would never lead somebody on that I didn't like, especially not just to get money (why would I want to put myself in that situation to have an angry tenant?). I would be very surprised if he ever tried to flirt or ask me out again, but if for some reason he DOES then I was simply mentioning that I have a very easy and simple response that doesn't even involve me having to give any other excuse - I don't socialize with my tenants.
Meg,
Is this the guy that was in his mid-50's that you referred to from your previous post? If it is, would you date a guy about the same age as your dad..? lol!
Ugh. I'd be interviewing other tenants if I were you. He seems like some of the guys I've met that don't know how to take no for an answer.
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