Ginger at Girls Just Wanna Have Funds just wrote a great post on Having it All. And since I couldn't get her site to let me post a comment, I just had to link her post here to discuss!
Ginger, like me, believes that women can have it all - "just in staggared moderation." I think that's a perfect way to describe it. You can't do it all at one time, and you can't do it all perfectly either.
Developing a fulfilling relationship complete with a satisfying sex life, building a rewarding career, maintaining a nurtured spirit and healthy body, and raising healthy well-attached children all at once is as close to impossible as I can imagine. You might be able to do two things well at a time, but to be well balanced among all categories? Probably not. And I didn't even mention friendships or leisure or pets or ongoing education or a retirement portfolio!
We should all remember that none of us are entitled or required to "have it all" anyway! Millions of women all over the world would give anything for the chance to have any one of the following:
- An education
- A career
- A loving, supportive, loyal husband
- A healthy body and access to complete medical care
- Resources to protect and nurture their children fully...
- ...or birth control
- A decent enough wage to save money
- Free time to relax or enjoy with friends
Commenter The Feminist Breeder on another fantastic post of Ginger's aptly puts it this way - "I don't think the feminists of the 70's realized that GETTING to do it all might mean HAVING to do it all."
3 comments:
Life is in perpetual movement, it is always a question of juggling and finding the right balance.
I think the key is, knowing that things change over time, accepting and embracing that "perpetual movement".
I grew up middle middle class, married young, to a rich foreigner I met in grad school. I came over here (France), and wanted to work. My ex couldn't understand why, we didn't need the money. I did work, but PT, so I went on the "mommy track". We were able to pay for home childcare.
Long story short, my ex left me for a woman who flunked 10th grade, not once, but twice, LOL. It's water under the bridge, it happened 17 years ago. I was lucky enough to remarry, despite (or maybe because of, lol) three kids under six.
There is no perfect solution, or magic bullet. The beauty of somebody in your situation is, you are building your own wealth and you will never have to be dependent on somebody else. With those rentals, you will have both income and the capability of staying home to raise your kids.
Although this is no perfect solution, I have no regrets about my "mommy track" career. Nobody ever complains about not having spent more time at work, lol. I've raised / am raising four kids.
All the best!
PS If I were working full-time, I'm sure my two young adult kids wouldn't have done as well as they have. That doesn't mean they would have done badly, not at all. But just as one invests in stocks or RE, I chose (and am eternally grateful for having that option) to work PT and "invest" in my kids.
Grrr. Is there any way you could "invest" in an edit function?! Sorry for the errors. :-)
That's a lot of things to strive for. IS someone (even a guy...) going to be happy try to to get and all those? It'd be like juggling 10 balls, and we only have 2 hands. We cannot even hold on to each ball long enough to feel how they feel :P
Just a thought.
Post a Comment